So in this video I would like to give you another choice on one hern's Half conflict and war of crisis
and this kind of peace.
What would you choose.
No.
How you choose might be determined on what you prioritize the most.
Some people like myself back in the age of 16.
I said give me more give me cornflakes give me excitement give me adventure.
Because back then that was kind of what drove me.
No.
Right then at the age of 16 I was fundamentally driven by excitement and by taking risks.
Why.
Because growing up my dad wasn't interested in me.
That's right he was never there.
He worked away from all men.
In fact while growing up a life I think I spent two Saturday afternoons with my dad having father and
son time and lose two occasions he took me to watch football which I incidentally hated because I couldn't
play it for jianli or for icecream then so I needed 16.
I was desperate to leave home.
I was desperate for freedom because whilst dad wasn't interested my mum was a lovely lady.
I loved my mom and I know that she loved me but she was scared.
Very fearful woman.
She was very protective by nature and this project this protectiveness expressed itself through control.
Unfortunately and this is a problem that many parents especially unknowingly fall into.
We're out of interest in preserving and protecting the children end up controlling them.
If you've been on the receiving end of no end of rules you're going to know how exciting the thought
of resk and taking chances and getting away from security and pursuing freedom and making progress is
not all people but many.
And you can understand that what's true for you is always going to be true for everyone that you kortu
And what is true for those the court might not be true for you is true for me may not be true for you
and what is true for you may not be true for me.
This is what makes us all different.
But it's in understanding this deferens that that allows us to be able to unconditionally accept each
other.
No there is a motivational theorist a guy called Carol Rogers who discussed this concept called unconditional
positive regard no unconditional positive regard was huge.
I know for me and though the essence of this of this teaching was about fundamentally respecting people.
I'm unconditionally accepting people whilst rejecting their behaviours because sometimes people will
behave and conduct themselves in completely disrespectful ways.
But we already understand that there's no such thing as a bad intention.
So while some people act or behave or conduct themselves in completely counterproductive or offensive
ways it's not always their intention to do so.
So it's through understanding the intentions of things that drive people the more to us that allows
us to understand people.
You see so people are not going to be able to relate to authenticity because they spent their whole
lives playing it safe and living a lie.
And when people live their lives like this it's very uncommon for them to know peace.
No I'm talking about peace here.
I'm not talking about a war.
What I am saying is that things that happen on the outside of us are often just a representation or
a manifestation of things that happen on the inside of us.
Towards the end of the last Gulf war I can remember.
It was an interview conducted with Saddam Hussein.
He wanted to prove to the world how significant a nation Iraq was.
No.
From a personal perspective really that this man really want to prove how significant his nation was
or did he really just want to prove how significant he was.
Because if Saddam Hussein who ended up bringing about death to so many people a fool was driving him
was was a need to be seen as significant.
Then you can understand though as a man he was fundamentally just insecure in who he was and why whilst
we can completely reject an under law with the actions the behaviours of the Mern.
We can actually feel sorry for him.
On some level he was an insecure little boy who possibly just was never respect that you as a child
by his parents.
Now we don't know.
And this is the thing you're never going to know.
What is fundamentally driving someone and neither will I.
Which means that unless we are asking good questions to understand someone well done the risk of judging
them unfairly and this is never going to preserve the trust in any relationship.
So what's all this got to do with peace Kane.
I hear you ask all the talk about Saddam Hussein and we've talked about conflict.
And if you think about the only reason why one of the main reasons why people were going to come to
you is because of internal conflict to be haave.
Well people are not going to come to you for life coaching when they're fundamentally happy people don't
go to the doctors for medication to come down their happiness but they do go to the doctors from medication
to calm down their anxiety or depression or their stress.
What I'm seeing here is that what we fundamentally want is to be at peace within ourselves.
No I've never been a time within your life that you've just been at peace within yourselves today.
The personal development world comes up with so many new pockets of information.
But we've got to understand that the people are fundamentally driven by peace but yet their actions
and their behaviours will often completely contradict their motives.
Some do come to you angry and frustrated.
And they could be shouting abusive.
And if you are timid by nature you may take offence at this kind of stuff.
You might even feel intimidated by it.
But when we can look past people's actions and behaviours we are able to see that what they fundamentally
want is to be at peace within themselves.
No I have come across this time and time again through many years of korczak some very intense people.
I never had a problem working with the angry guys or the angry girls because I used to be one of them.
Believe it or not ray it was never anxiety or fear or depression that was the main problem for me.
It was always the anger and the rage which are generally more akin to high impact high energy emotional
states so we can get ourselves into.
So for me I can remember for years although I might not have articulated this back then when I'd go
to mentors coaches therapists.
I remember when I started studying a new linguistic programming.
The question that I had is the question that I fundamentally wanted to answer was was how can I reach
this place in life where I'm at peace within myself.
I was absolutely exhausted with living such an intense angry frustrated life.
If I'm going to be honest what I was pursuing most of my days especially throughout my 20s and my teenage
years was just been seen as significant because I didn't feel that I was significant.
I didn't appreciate my intrinsic value my self worth my self worth meant that I was of very low self
esteem and didn't want to accept that I was worthless or useless or any of these things.
So how I would do my best to compensate for this was through trying to prove myself to others and as
a life coach you're going to experience this some people are going to come to you for life coaching.
Yeah they're gonna talk.
Yeah they're going to tell you what their where their problems are what the solutions are to their problems.
And I'm hoping that you know through this you're going to be able to understand that if someone is in
your face really really all over the top.
Communication in an intense way is because they're fundamentally driven by peace.
They just want peace.
I just want peace you want peace.
We all want peace.
None of us are like negative or destructive.
The bullets and emotions were are governed by peace but yet the choices that we make often contradict
our motives.
So you would have taken this course in view off hopefully making progress potentially exploring life
coaching as a potential future career perhaps through which you can make more money generator residual
sustainable income for yourself through fundamentally just doing something that you love and then gives
you a piece.
But why choose life coaching.
You see for years I chose the military I chose sales.
There was one time in the past I chose promotional work and I can remember doing this one promotional
job when I was still studying.
I spent three days on my own I barely spoke to anyone and then just about sent me in saying just the
booze sent me insane because I fundamentally value connection and this is something that through life
coaching you can really ascertain.
Life Coaching is a fantastic means through which to gain connection with other people.
As long as it's meaningful in a section of the Course I'm going to share with you some very practical
communication skills.
Some some quite advanced language part and some drawing from both.
A few words of therapy and also from anywhere.
So this isn't just a life coaching course behave allende's guy.
I just like to get as much value as authentically as what I am able to to share with you my worth.
You may then go to see me as significant and what I don't know baseball gigs are fundamentally secure
within myself and I'm free to do what I want regardless of what I've seen as a because I'm fundamentally
at peace within myself.
I'm crystal clear on what my priorities are.
No phemie connection has been a huge driver in most of my life.
I am pocking or openly honestly here through growing up I wasn't particularly connected with in the
family home.
I was never close with my sister.
My sister unfortunately would compete with me and she would tell tales and me which then left me being
the bad Big Brother.
I was never particularly close with my dad because he was unavailable and wasn't trying to control me
so at the age of 16 I was desperate for freedom.
I was desperate for some connection hence joining the army was so appealing for me becoming part of
the body of men.
A community of people in which I could share some value and hopefully be appreciated and made practical
sense of when I was back at the time.
And you got to understand that people are going to be coming to you for life coaching for the same reason
that I joined the Army.
No watch a video based course like this can be interesting it can be informative it can be insightful
perhaps even intriguing.
It doesn't compensate for that real life human interaction connection based experience and this is what
people were going to be coming to you for.
For life coaching.
If you think about it someone is always going to come to you for life coaching because they don't actually
have anyone else in their life and they connect with it in such a meaningful way that they trust.
To just simply be open and honest with.
Gordon back 50 or 60 or 70 years ago the societal institution of family was strong but they the 2000
and 2000 17 No I know a lot of people who are on the second or third marriage and or a lot of people
who reside and live together who aren't committed to each other.
Most of my friends are growing up without positive father figure influential male role models.
I see the society is screwed.
All right.
As a life coach you are going to have more expectations placed on you than what you might otherwise
expect.
People are going to come to you looking for a connection.
They're going to be expecting authenticity they're going to be expecting you.
They're going to be coming to you looking for the answers that they can build into their life through
which to me progress an exercise of freedom that's going to help them gain inner peace.
So it's a big responsibility if you choose to go down this road.
Are you willing to go down this road first that's the question.
No.
I'm going to make quite an interesting and unusual distinction here.
I'm going to make peace with uncertainty.
If you think about it the only times that you're ever have been with significant degrees of progress
in your life is when you've stepped out in the midst of uncertainty through taking a risk or in some
risk and uncertainty go hand in hand and give reference to faith here as well incidentally.
Well some people assume many people assume that faith has something to do with our beliefs our religious
beliefs are religious preferences.
I wouldn't suggest that faith is more of an active doing what faith is and can only ever be applied
right.
Please allow me to explain.
You purchased this course hoping that you were going to be able to land something so that you could
fundamentally make progress in life.
No.
You're only still watching this course because I have perhaps shed some light or have shared a principle
or an idea that has just made sense to me that you could see you'd be able to then in turn share with
someone else at some point in the future.
So you're watching no because you're in faith that you're going to learn something else before the Course
is out.
No faith our faith in the future is always going to be determined by the experiences that we've had
in the past.
So if someone in the past has experienced a lot of rejection a lot of hearts it's only going to be natural
that they're not going to be in faith for much more of Amber in the future.
Faith is always based upon expectancy.
Bearing in mind I've already mentioned that the greatest most effective way to minimize their disappointment
that we have in life is through merging or expectations.
Some people have very unrealistic expectations in life.
For me our expectations and faith are also completely interconnected because we will are wrecks big
decisions of the future will either be in faith or be in fear.
Faith is in fact the opposite of fear.
So we're only going to step out take risks in the midst of uncertainty to pursue freedom or progress.
If we were in faith for a certain positive outcome no faith and hope are also different because you
can hope for a positive outcome whilst doing nothing.
That faith demands that you do something.
Faith demands that you take action you can.
You can be sitting behind a TV and a starry night with your lottery ticket hoping that you win the lottery.
You can be in faith but you win the lottery.
You can you know bank your life or your future on the promises that you're going to win the lottery
but you can take a rest step in the midst of uncertainty.
Take the greatest risk that you could have always taken life and just simply be yourself in faith and
hope that someone is going to find some foul you in you and what your teaching is going to enable them
to make progress and step into a greater sense of personal and emotional freedom in life.
Because if you're able to do this and guess what they're going to see you as being significant which
takes so many boxes on so many levels.
Core values it's a complex subject that people human beings were complex creatures.
So uncertainty completely interconnects with rest but were only ever going to step out take risks.
One certainty.
If we're in faith for a certain outcome if someone's coming to you for life coaching there in faith
you're going to be able to in some way help them move forward and progress and it might be the case
that you're their last hope.
So let me just express this again.
Life coaching comes with great responsibility.
People are going to place their hopes and their expectations and their faith in you is then you're wrong.
Your responsibility to manage this expectation fear unwisely and how we do it this is not by making
ourselves out to be the guru by seeing yes a three step plan if you follow these three steps and get
them rate then you are going to be able to get whatever results you want in life because that's what
most life coaches out there promise that their seven step plans are four step process as are the be
all in the end.
Oh Lord that's a crock of shit and that's not true.
Never has been and it never will be the only way that you positively influence other people to move
forward and progress in life is to help them understand what this is fundamentally driving them.
Because if you help other people that understand what it is that drives them exactly the same time youre
empowering them to exert and exercise their freedom and make wiser decisions.
You see when it comes to empowering people you physically cannot empower someone else.
You can make them aware of the still at the choices at the half.
And it's only through making people aware of the extent of the choices that they have.
That comes empowerment and freedom.
They cannot exercise two to choose.
I hope this really makes sense to you.
This is so important.
Please take me serious please Ress all understand this stuff because if you do this is going to transform
not just how you go to court judge other people or into the future.
This is going to completely transform how it is that you interact unruly with every single person that
you come into contact with for the rest of your life.
So what this makes sense and we look forward to they're going to honour in hour if we can the next video.